"Show, Don't Tell" Only Works Sometimes

If you’re a writer, you’ve probably had the phrase “show, don’t tell” preached to you repeatedly. I know I heard it a lot when I was studying creative writing, particularly as an undergrad. 

But, here’s my hot take: “show, don’t tell” is really a guideline, not a rule. 

Let’s break it down. 

Why should you “show” instead of tell?  

There’s a famous quote credited to Anton Chekhov that goes, “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” And that kind of sums up the idea of “show, don’t tell.” Why say the moon is just shining, which is vague and rather uninteresting, when you can show its shining with a more elegant piece of imagery? It creates more layers and depth. 

Here’s another example. I say in manuscripts quite often that a writer not only needs to tell what a character is feeling, but show it too. For example, I could say, “John was really mad. The maddest he had ever been.” Or I could say, “John stormed into the room, face heated, and slammed his fists onto the counter.” Do you see how the second has more impact because of the showing? We get a better sense of just how angry he is. 

This is the essence of the “show, don’t tell” rule. Being specific and digging deeper creates more emotional, resonant writing. 

Why this advice is misunderstood 

As a developmental editor, I am here to say to you: sometimes telling is needed. (I’m sorry if that makes you clutch your pearls). The problem with “showing” everything–every emotion, every layer of meaning, etc., etc.–is that it slows pacing and buries clarity. Most readers are consuming books for fun, for escapism, for joy, not to decode every single sentence. 

Additionally, very few writers have the control and self-awareness to be able to convey their meaning by showing all of the time. Sometimes, you just need to say, “Allison wilted in despair.” Or: “Jared had never been so humiliated.” And, yes, it’s okay. 

Better advice: balance showing and telling 

Instead of saying, “show, don’t tell,” I like to tell my writers to balance showing and telling. 

Let’s look at some examples. Here’s a paragraph with too much telling: 

Christabel felt hungry. She really wanted a salad. She pictured it having lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and her favorite ranch dressing. It wasn’t healthy at all–in fact it was pretty bad for you–but who said salads had to be healthy? While finishing up her work day, she decided that she was going to have a salad for dinner. 

That paragraph…It’s just boring, right? It’s allllll telling, so it leaves little to the imagination. 

And here, for contrast, is the same concepts conveyed with too much showing: 

Christabel gnawed on her fingernails. Visions of lettuce and tomatoes and cucumbers flitted through her head. She could taste the ranch dressing on her tongue, delicious and sinful. A decision swirled endlessly in her mind, tugging her thoughts toward dinnertime and the looming problem of what she would eat that night. 

This paragraph has the opposite problem. It’s just… annoying, isn’t it? Christabel is just hungry, so why does it have to be a big flowery, showy mess? Also, because it isn’t direct, it’s hard to parse out what’s going on here. Some of the meaning from the first paragraph actually gets lost. 

Here’s a compromise with a little showing and a little telling: 

Christabel was so freakin’ hungry. For a salad, of all things! She couldn’t stop thinking about that salad from the fast food place down the road, the one with all that herby, creamy dressing drenching the tomatoes and lettuce. It certainly wasn’t healthy–but who said salads had to be healthy? She watched the clock, counting the seconds until her workday ended and, at exactly five o’clock, she placed a mobile order. Salad time.

There’s definitely some telling here. I literally said Christabel is hungry. I also said she couldn’t “stop thinking about the salad,” and that the salad “certainly wasn’t healthy.” But I’ve also done some showing: I described the salad, showing why she can’t stop thinking about it. And I also showed that she can’t wait to get her salad because she’s watching the clock and immediately orders it when her work day is done. It’s really the best of both worlds. 

So, in your writing: try to find the balance. The best writing does a little bit of telling, coupled with a little bit of showing. 

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Suggested Exercise: 

Pick up a favorite book. Open it to a favorite scene. Write down or highlight places where the author has shown how a character is feeling and places where the author has told how a character is feeling. 

If you struggle with showing versus telling, this is actually a fantastic exercise to do on repeat. Try it with different authors and genres.